Kalani Honua Blog

It started just over a year ago. I took it slowly at the beginning, even withholding a little bit to be honest. I knew myself enough to know that if I decided to be in this relationship I would commit to it 100%, and I wasn’t sure it was what I wanted. But in the end I was swept away. I seem to have swallowed the red pill and there is no turning back. Sometimes, when it seems like we are not connecting I feel defeated and I start to question our relationship. For a split second I’ll actually think about breaking up with her, but then I immediately remember the many sweet, divine moments that we’ve shared and I realize that leaving isn’t the answer. I just could never do it. I won’t. She is the Ocean, and I am a surfer.

She, the Ocean, is a great teacher and demands respect. Some days she is soft and gentle, while other days she is fierce and raging…but she is always in control. If I come to Pohoiki (the local surf spot here in Puna) and get my butt kicked, I know it’s because I came full of ego, holding on to my emotions and disregarding what she has to offer. Ultimately it means I am working against her because I’m working against myself. When I can be out there and let go completely of my thoughts and concerns with the world and the role I play in it, it means I can give her my full attention. When I feel the fear wash off of me and the peace settles in I can connect with her vibe and feel her movements, listening to her guidance. In these moments, ‘being’ is effortless, and the waves appear just in front of me.

She is my guru, and in this relationship I am learning how to live my life with more joy and trust in the process. When I have visions of being a pro surfer, I start looking ahead at what I want to be instead of where I’m at. She’ll tolerate my ego driven desire for a while, but eventually she’ll give me a gentle (or rough, depending on her mood) reminder to be right here, right now. And this is a reminder for me to have patience in all aspects of my life, to accept and love myself at every moment.

I understand now that the choice to be in this relationship really never was mine to make. I love her with all of my heart, she brings me peace and I am committed to her 100%. I could never leave her, I just couldn’t do it. She is the Ocean, and I am a surfer.

Aloha Kalani supporters,

Mahalo to the hundreds of you who sent letters and/or signed petitions requesting that the Planning Department reinstate Kalani’s EMAX greenhouse as a perfect location for Kalani’s community nature-culture-wellness programs.On September 3 the Planning Department Director BJ Leithead Todd, the County’s Corporate Council, Amy Self, and the Zoning Inspector, Scott Leonard, all came to visit us here at Kalani. Together we made offerings at our preserved heritage sites, walked much of the property, viewed structures and dined together.

The following day BJ sent a letter thanking us for the visit, rescinding the violation, and saying “We agree with you that working together will help better serve the needs of the community.”

So your Kalani ‘ohana is now confident that we are back on track with more of the co-creative collaboration that we have had with the Planning Department for 34 years!

- Richard Koob

Aloha. I am Salita, the Volunteer Coordinator here at Kalani. We had a group here last week called ‘Chillaxin," as in 'chilling out and relaxing.' The concept is to introduce guests into the lives we lead here at Kalani and in Hawaii. I was a bit anxious since I didn't know how mainland guys would respond to ‘hanging out’ with this dreadlocked dude who is living so unusual a life.

You see, I live a very minimal life here in the jungle. I have a dog, I watch movies on a TV which does not have channels, my commute to work is a 5 minute walk through a tropical rain forest, and my colleagues are people I hang out with naked at the pool. Chillaxin week is about inviting guests into our lifestyle! But I met a terrific group of men and I learned something I am always working to discover about myself, which is that ‘me’ just being ‘me’ is okay. This simple life I chose over seven years ago is comforting, interesting, and even sometimes inspiring.

Chillaxin week goes pretty much like this: On opening night we (the locals) introduce ourselves to the visitors. The rest of the week we go to the beach and/or snorkel every day, eat meals together and drink wine during dinner. On the last night we have a basic closing circle to finish up the week. And that’s it. That is a week of Chillaxin!

What is so brilliant about Chillaxin is its simplicity. People go on vacation to relax, but how often do people make sure to rest and relax in a quality, bonding way? A way of spending time which we all want to have more of in our lives? A life of beach, dining with others, and wine with dinner sounds pretty good, right? All week we share with the guests what we, who live here at Kalani, do on our days off. We specialize in this stuff, right?

It's amazing to see what happens when guests take a Chillaxin break. In this last group there was a man who had just ended a 19 year relationship and wanted to get away and be around people. He was laughing the whole week and completely forgot about the breakup. There was a successful lawyer, who is doing some amazing work for people who need a strong voice. Another guest wanted to return to Hawaii because his last visit was so relaxing. This time it turned out to be about having fun as well! There was a couple from Seattle looking for a new way to have a holiday away from their busy lives and to spend time with each other. There was a man who has fallen in love with Kalani and been here many times.

It felt really good and touching to hear the stories that people had to share from the experiences of the week. My life feels enriched in having been able to connect with each person, and I am so grateful for the diversity of the group and for the fun we had together. I believe that this is what we are all wanting to experience in our daily lives…to be accepted and to play. Chillaxin is a reminder and a practice for me to step out of my comfort zone and open up to those around me.

I look to promote more of these types of relationships in my life here at Kalani. I am ever so appreciative for the opportunities to facilitate openings for people to live a more complete life.

So I’m leaving Hawaii. Leaving the tropical weather, the smiling faces, jungle attire, nude sunbathing, my beautiful, handsome, strong, loving boyfriend. I’m leaving it all behind so that I can work (hopefully) at least 50 or 60 hours a week and live with my mother. I’m moving back to my hometown of 14,000 people, complete with two grocery stores and two dingy bars. Believe me, I’m wondering the same thing: What the hell am I thinking?

This decision comes as no shock to those close to me. I did this same thing last year. I packed my bags, left this beautiful paradise and went back home to work, clear my mind, get away, and search for something new and better. I bid my friends farewell, quit my job and bought a one-way plane ticket back to the mainland. Looking back, it was quite dramatic. I had no plans of returning, I was on my way. And, then I came back to Hawaii two months later.

But this time will be different. I’m leaving for good. Getting’ outta here, goin’ for the gold. Gonna make that money. My plan is to work my sweet little (or big, depending on who you ask) booty off until I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to save all the moola I can in the next two months while dreaming of the future. TRAVEL. That is my main objective. I’m going to travel the WHOLE WORLD! I’m going to see every tiny town, every gigantic mountain, every peep show and dive bar. I’m going to see the BIG people, the tiny tiny little people, the jungle, the snow, the glaciers! I’m going to be the first person in the world to see EVERYTHING.

Well, maybe not quite everything. And maybe not even the whole world, but I know I’m going to see something. And real soon too. Remember that “beautiful, handsome, strong, loving boyfriend” I mentioned earlier? The one I’m leaving behind? Well, I’m going to see him again after my two months of, I’ll be frank, possible tiring hell. He’s coming with. He’s packin’ his bags too and our first travels will be around the US in my tiny Ford Focus and all our camping gear. Needless to say, I’m really excited.

So, I’ll be leaving my home at Kalani Oceanside Retreat center on the Big Island of Hawaii. The place which has lifted my spirits and brought me closer to myself, nature, and my fellow human peers. I love Kalani more than any other place I’ve lived, from the bottom of my toes and extending out my crown chakra. Though, it is time for me to take my departure. Into the scary world of the unknown I will go, where bathing suits are required and papayas probably won’t be served on breakfast platters. Though I will be leaving, I don’t feel like I am leaving anything or anyone behind. Instead, I feel like Kalani will be coming with me on my magical mystery tour. I’m sure it will help guide me to the light when all I can see is darkness, and bring a big smile to my face when I reflect back on my experiences here. Farewell Kalani! See probably in two months!